I Can't Do It Alone!

Today I decided I would practice my self sufficience. Chris is moonlighting this weekend, so I am on my own. Usually when Chris is gone I sort of retreat into survival mode - meals from the freezer (because who has the time to cook?), no exercise (who would watch the kids?), and the house becomes a great big messy garbage heap (who has energy to clean after meeting three kid's demands?). Well, not today. I spent a lot of time playing with the kids this morning, did my regular cleaning and laundry, started the preparation for my dinner, and fed the kids some real food. After preschool I took the kids to the gym and checked them into the kid's club where they played for 2 hours while I swam, lifted, and took a real shower. Afterwards, I had promised the boys I would take them to play in the "neighborhood", so despite being ridiculously tired I took them over there to play for an hour. M was getting louder and more obnoxious as time went on (a sure sign he is tired), while E was moving slower and starting to trip over his own feet. T was yawning as he was trying to crawl away from me to investigate what all the other kids were doing. It was time to go. It took me another 30 minutes of hard work to get the kids rounded up, bundled up, and out to the car. E was whining "carry me!" the whole way, but I was already carrying T, a heavy bag, M's snow-pants (from preschool), and my jacket (I was really sweating by then). After getting everyone belted into the van I realized I didn't even really need to go work out - just getting everyone in and out of the van is a workout. I could have sat in the darn hot tub for two hours. So, I was tired, but determined to get on with my evening. I had chicken wild rice soup to make, and I was hungry after swimming (I always feel like I can eat a horse after swimming). But, before I could start my dinner, I had to feed the boys (even though I had sent their dinner with them to the kid's club), bathe E and T, put T to bed, get E dressed and into bed (because he was actually asking if he could "take a sleep"), and feed M some more food (he was hungry!). Finally, at 7:30pm I got to start making my soup, it was done at 8:00pm, and I was done eating it at 8:03pm. Then I spent 40 minutes cleaning it all up.

I am tired. I hate being a single parent. I have therefore decided that Chris couldn't do anything awful enough to ever make me leave him - he could become the most dissolute person in the world and I still wouldn't leave - I can't do this without him! Sure, I know I can go back into survival mode for as long as we need to while he is on call or moonlighting, but when he is gone I can't continue to live like I do when he is home. It just doesn't work and I am too tired when it's all over - not to mention crabby. I banished M downstairs after dinner, telling him, "Mommy needs some time alone, so unless you want to get yelled at, I suggest you go play downstairs." He went. Poor kid.

T is 11 months old today! How fast my baby does grow!

This pictures shows him doing one of his favorite things in the world - playing with drawers (and the handles on the drawers). We hear a lot of drawers and doors banging at my house lately thanks to little T.